I need to get something out of my head…

So yesterday was Monday.

The start of the working week…

…and one of the worst days of my life if I’m honest.

Yesterday I arrived at my first call to find the lady had passed away.

Now it’s not as if I haven’t seen a dead body before,I have but seeing someone nicely laid out in the chapel of rest is a bit different.

Had she had her eyes closed it might have been better. I could have pretended she was sleeping.

I feel so sad that this poor lady passed away alone,I cant help thinking if I had been a bit earlier I could have been with her.

I was proud of myself,I kept calm I didn’t go to bits.

I didn’t sleep last night though,I kept seeing her when I closed my eyes.

Today is another day,I still feel drained emotionally which makes me feel strange as I did not know the lady well,it’s not as if she was family so why do I feel like this?

Working in the job I do I think I’m lucky to have not had this happen before.

I’m hoping writing this will help a little.


3 thoughts on “I need to get something out of my head…

  1. Aw that is sad. I guess that you being moved by the experience makes you a normal human being and I think that’s a good thing. Are you an ambulance driver or something? Sorry I’m not familiar with what you do. It must be tough and I guess something that you will have to get used to but hopefully not totally immune to as that would be equally be sad. Am I making any sense at all???

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